effing a

i was again seriously interested in telling you about angel hair pilot tonight and his, well, angel hair, but tim russert died so i must now dive into that. he was probably just living his life, and then an hour later, he just wasn't. i don't have to tell you about my life changing caribbean sailing experience from last month. it's two posts down and changed my life forever. this is another life altering situation in very close proximity to the other. it sucks, but that's what happens. so, you better live like you mean it. and i mean that, sister.

so tim russert died. how does that relate to me and you. it all comes down to one minute you're living and the next, you're not. you're just not. tim had a special place in my heart. may he rest in peace.

tim's news knocked the wind out of me. my sunday mornings have been spent with tim for as along as i can remember. now what. now it all changes because life stepped in and did something it does all the time. it deals you the craziest cards when you're in a place where it's highly unlikely that you're ready for them. and from experience, most of the time, you weren't ready and there's no way you would've ever asked for them.

ok, so life stepped in on 6/13/2008. it made us uncomfortable - not only the russert family, but i would have to imagine, most of the world. but you know what? we all have a say in it.

when you die, it won't matter to you anymore. you'll be dead. however, your passing will rock the cores of many a people and for some, their lives will never be the same when you go. if nothing else in your years, this is one of the greatest realizations you should ever make. you may or may not know it, but you are touching lives. you may be doing good or you may be doing evil. you're the one who knows and either way, it's fine with me. but one day, those lives will be without you. and, hopefully you left a lasting mark on the world. if you didn't, it's unfortunate because your time on earth was relatively short-lived and it won't matter to anyone if it was for not (probably not even you while you were here).

if that doesn't make you uncomfortable, you're all set. ignore me. ignore a lot of things. if it does affect you, get off your pot and start doing what you think you need to do in life. do it for you. know that when you do it for you, the world will somehow become more rich and powerful because you made it that way while you were you living in it.

life's too short. make your footprint count. i can't believe tim russert's gone.

basement racquetball tennis pong

it might have been interesting to tell you about the angel hair pilot this evening, but i think i'll save him for another night. tonight, i will tell you about basement racquetball tennis pong. it's sweeping the nation. and i mean that literally. well no. i mean, it's only really happening in my basement as far as i know.

here's what happens in brtp: you get a tennis racquet and a little rubber racquetball ball and an unfinished basement. and bourbon. and perhaps loud music from the kitchen at the top of the stairs. then, you hit the ball against the wall with a tennis racquet but with that initial racquetball bounce so that the ball doesn't go like 100 yards and end up getting lodged underneath like, the metal wolf spider basement shelving. those crazy guys like to hide under that thing. i don't actually know that this is true though because in three years, i've only seen one wolf spider by this metal shelving. anything's possible. but back to the game, you want the ball to bounce before it hits the wall and then you just keep the volley going while you think and drink and jam to your favorite 70s, 70s, and 70s tunes.

what else.. as far as rules go, the only rule is that you just constantly make up rules to account for whatever just happened in the "game". like, if you're lucky and the ball bounces back to you after arching through/over the red metal beam, you totally win. conversely, if the ball hits the red beam on the way back and goes back into the wall instead of coming back to you, that's it. you lose. if you let the ball bounce like 3 times before hitting it back to the wall, nice. 5 points. if you switch to being a lefty (or righty if you're a lefty) you get 2 extra points. and really, so on and so forth. like i said, you just keep making up rules so that if you're ever playing with someone else, which is never, no one can win. similarly, if you're playing against yourself, you will probably win. i've actually lost to myself before so it's really hard to say what you can expect here.

so, brtp. my gift to you. stay inside this 2008 summer and enjoy your cold, cold basement.

i'm doing it wrong

i'm certainly not doing it right - that's for sure. thanks much, anonymous commenter, for kindly reminding me how blogs work. you are supposed to add posts one by one. you are not a-sposed to remove them, one by one. i'll try to remember this going forward. i just get confused sometimes. wait. no. i don't. i took that last post down because it had become meaningless. truthfully, it was meaningless when i posted it. however, i have now basically done something to counter it in my life so i took it down because i wanted to post something regarding a similar topic that has far more meaning at this point. get. ex. cited.

so guess what. i rule. i've said it before, and i'm sayin' it again. i rule. and, i'm more than happy to esplain why in this very post. but first, i would like to say a few words about some other things because i think it's important to veer off topic from time to time because then i can ensure that people have no idea what i'm talking about or why or if i'm even still talking about the same thing or something different or what. i think it's important to create a spaghetti tangle in whatever you do in life. this applies to conversation, relationships, cables behind your giant hd tv, corporate america, etc. just whatever you do, make sure it's confusing enough that no one person can come in and figure it all out and cause everything to be easily understood and clear. i mean, that would just be ridiculous. so next time you find yourself in life, try to tangle it all up and cause peoples' brains to fart. do it for me. haha. i just wrote fart. i bet you're thinking about farts now. you're weird.

ok, why do i rule so much. well, it all comes down to me being 30. and awesome. i pretty much decided to take myself sailing in the caribbean this past week. because i could. i just got back and to be more honest than i've ever been in life, it was the greatest thing i've ever done. at first, i was a little anxious about going to a tropical island by myself, but i forged ahead because some crazy strong unknown force was pulling me down there. all i knew was that i had to go. i had to go if i ever wanted to live my life effectively again. and you know what? i've been talking about either moving to a tropical island or sailing in the caribbean since high school. and, you wanna know what else? i realized that i hadn't really sailed in the caribbean and obviously didn't live on a tropical island. so, sort of last minute, i booked a flight, hotel, and sailing. it was a short holiday week so it worked out sort of perfectly.

well guess what. i figured it all out while i was down there. i literally mean everything. i've never been more sure of anything. this is why it was the greatest thing i've ever done. i guess the sailing in the caribbean part might have helped me to relax and be able to think more clearly... if you've never been, please promise yourself to go eventually. i can't think of anything else like it - you in your shorts and bikini top, sunscreen, shades, ice-cold presidente in hand, cutting through the indigo blue water with the wind in your hair, a smile on your face. and if you use that sunscreen appropriately, look forward to the best tan you've ever had in your life.

now, clearly that can't be the end of the greatest week of my entire life. while i was there sailing by myself with a totally amazing crew, i met 'vacation friends'. believe it or not, i wasn't the only lone 30-something in the tropics who was escaping from life. there were two others and we found each other on this magical sailboat. it was there that i met dr. 'a' and ms. 'e'. we bonded almost instantly and then within hours, had decided to become travel friends. so, not only did i figure out my entire life while sailing in one of the most beautiful places on earth, i had also met at least one ridiculously awesome person every single day. ridiculous.

so that's why i removed the old post. looking back, it was really just a placeholder for the greatness to come. the previous trip was with family and wasn't the greatest thing ever. while i was there though, i did find the islands to be very much to my liking. i normally dislike other cities/towns/etc, but even amid the travel and family, i had decided that i was pretty sure i loved this place. and, this newfound love affair i have with islands is definitely a topic for another deep (and lengthy) discussion.