eff boo

halloween brings out my cold, dark side, which is why i love it so much and i finally got a few pumpkins for my special upcoming xmas. the pumpkins are really cute and one actually doesn't stand on its own. nice. i got a retard. anyway, i was really excited to have my pumpkins out there on the front porch and then i found out some very distressing news. apparently i live in a stepford neighborhood. who knew? erik with a k knew. he shared the info and i'm none too pleased. we begin the story...

there are tons of families in my 'planned unit development' (PUD from here on out) who stay far, far away from me, the little single mutant. well, i don't think i'm a mutant, but i'm pretty sure they do. you can let me know what you think. so these stepfords (if i'm a mutant, you are definitely a stepford) have kids. and these kids, they go to school on buses. BUSES THAT PICK EACH KID UP AT THE END OF HIS OR HER DRIVEWAY EVERY MORNING. well you'll never guess what. the moms all go stand at the end of the driveway too - and i mean every last mom. then, they all have a meeting once the kids get on the bus. they stand there drinking coffee, wearing sweats, chatting about fake purses, and generally just looking like big a-holes. now i have no idea what they do once i leave the hood, but i know at least one small part of it includes thinking up dumb stuff to do with the others in the PUD. you've been waiting patiently so here it is. they're 'booing' people. these a-holes are booing each other. they took an email chain letter and personified it in real life with a big gay gesture involving real candy and my xmas. what the fuck morons. booing involves a basket of candy left anonymously on someone's porch with a note informing them that they have been booed and now must return the favor by booing two other fams. "hehe. i just added a few things to your to-do list that are completely immature and insane! enjoy!" these bitches haven't booed me yet and i don't think they will. i'm the single mutant and have placed a sign in my window that says 'if any of you bitches boo me, i'll fucking kill you. thanks!' i don't know about you but that says merry xmas to me. merry. fucking. xmas. get off me.