toren is a legend, and, my new hero. this post makes me feel as though i should hand over my twenties gun seeing as how i've been pissing it away for so long. the drunken dart-swim-blizzard-cheese fries night reminds me of college. way to girl tor. you can't hear me right now, but i'm singing the 'mrs. 4am cheese fries skivvy-dipper' bud commercial song. thanks for being the wind beneath my wings. i'm going to get back down to business in about a month or so. life's too short to not be playing drunk, midnight, mostly-naked, glow-in-the-dark golf.
in other news, my car's battery was dead when i got out to the garage last night. my sister had to drive me home and then big don and my dad had to drive me back so we could change it. car fixings of any sort irritate me very much and i can't figure out why. my parents took me to the bell for cheezy gordita crunches afterwards so i would say it worked out just fine. man i love those taco bell guys.
what else... penny etiquette. why don't they just charge $1.60 instead of $1.59? i'd much rather give you the 1.60 and then just bolt. i don't want to wait for that effing penny that NO ONE wants to deal with. they don't want it. you don't want it. goddammpennies. get off me.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Sunday, July 17, 2005
tina! come eat some ham!
this might become the regular column that i do from time to time, snippets from the IM chat where i pass time with shop dungs. or not. i don't know. enjoy.
- chop: you at your house?
- rachel fitzwater: yep
- chop: slacker
- rachel fitzwater: yeah seriously
- chop: in your underwear
- rachel fitzwater: you got it
- chop: drinking alcohol
- rachel fitzwater: 3 for 3
- chop: I own you
- rachel fitzwater: that would be correct
- rachel fitzwater: wait. you just described u, didn't u
- chop: maybe
- rachel fitzwater: in your .5's
- rachel fitzwater: slurping labatt
- rachel fitzwater: looking just off to the right like a crazy
- rachel fitzwater: as tho no one were standing in front of you
- chop: nah I don't really have any .5's
- chop: but other than that you're dead on
- rachel fitzwater: uh huh
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
the trees are not good
i'd really like to post because i have much laundry but i really don't think it's a good idea so i'll just go ahead and post anyway and be hella cryptic in hopes that it makes me feel a little better. let's have a go.
the puppy should not be as serious. he needs time to ponder so he can better determine which tree he wants to pee on and how much he wants to pee on it and when/where. peeing on the tree can obviously be good but it can get to the point where the tree(s) would eventually like to see the puppy figure out just where all this pee comes from. the pee has a source and that pee source seems to need definition. maybe drink less of the water. maybe drink something other than water. maybe just stop drinking water. when the trees are not good, some collective soul in the universe gets the brunt of that negative energy they're exuding and the universe could clearly do without all that superfluous negatory. no one wants to upset the balance of the yin and the yang. that's silly. it's ultimately a subconscious effort and very hard to control. when the water dries up, it's a bad thing. never stop drinking the water though because i fear that this will cause the source to dry up. i think the answer lies therein but, within the puppy. coincidentally, the puppies are also not good so i guess the trees need to try their hardest to stay objective and not worry about where the final twister spinner wheel thingy will land. the trees usually know what they're doing afterall and left foot green is HIGHLY unlikely.
ok yeah. i actually feel better. and sorry if you think you're trying to figure out what i'm saying here. you couldn't possibly decrypt the way i literally just encrypted the way i think.
bk lounge yo... but not without coops.
the puppy should not be as serious. he needs time to ponder so he can better determine which tree he wants to pee on and how much he wants to pee on it and when/where. peeing on the tree can obviously be good but it can get to the point where the tree(s) would eventually like to see the puppy figure out just where all this pee comes from. the pee has a source and that pee source seems to need definition. maybe drink less of the water. maybe drink something other than water. maybe just stop drinking water. when the trees are not good, some collective soul in the universe gets the brunt of that negative energy they're exuding and the universe could clearly do without all that superfluous negatory. no one wants to upset the balance of the yin and the yang. that's silly. it's ultimately a subconscious effort and very hard to control. when the water dries up, it's a bad thing. never stop drinking the water though because i fear that this will cause the source to dry up. i think the answer lies therein but, within the puppy. coincidentally, the puppies are also not good so i guess the trees need to try their hardest to stay objective and not worry about where the final twister spinner wheel thingy will land. the trees usually know what they're doing afterall and left foot green is HIGHLY unlikely.
ok yeah. i actually feel better. and sorry if you think you're trying to figure out what i'm saying here. you couldn't possibly decrypt the way i literally just encrypted the way i think.
bk lounge yo... but not without coops.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Sunday, July 3, 2005
like pudding on the inside
sandra day o'connor, you win the nobel suck prize. why do you think you can just retire and potentially overturn the balance of an entire country's delicate, moral/legal ecosystem. i'm so mad at you.
luther vandross passed away. whoa. i never thought luther vandross could just pass away like that. 54, complications from a stroke. get out there and hug a loved one i guess.
biology, chemistry, and botany that are taught in schools as required coursework; why isn't this a much bigger national debate fueled by the religious right. i mean, these subjects clearly outline logical, factual evidence about life as we know it and how it came to be. they're awfully quiet over there lately. that's all i'm saying.
sarah, i told you hors that we shouldn't play 'Life' a second time because i would kick your asses, but you guys never listen. you're drunk, but are your physical needs being met? ask steph.
big don's parting words for the day, as spoken to my dad just seconds ago; 'hey, i have to go get that stuffed poodle. i don't have time to lounge around here all day.'
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