Monday, September 8, 2008

what brown can do for me

i thought i would share some findings regarding the countless varieties of 'brown liquor'. here is how it tastes:
  • chivas - tastes like wood soaked in motor oil
  • dewars - tastes like wood soaked in motor oil
  • cutty sark - see above
  • jb - just don't.
  • knob creek - tastes like wood soaked in fire
  • makers mark - tastes like wood soaked in charcoal
  • buffalo trace - tastes like wood soaked in charcoal with pepper and fire - it bites you back
  • jameson - tastes like what i believe an irish person soaked in a cheap barrel would taste like
  • crown royal - tastes like what i believe a canadian soaked in a cheap barrel would taste like
  • crown royal special reserve - this is just way too smooth. i mean really.
  • a really old midleton - wow. ridiculous. this is just, not fair to anyone.
  • tullamore dew - you might as well just drink jameson
  • bushmills - see above
  • jim beam black - this guy's your buddy. invite him in. maybe have a sleepover.
  • jim beam white - only if you're in a pinch
  • jim beam green - don't bother
  • woodford reserve - a step above maker's mark. i highly recommend it.
  • gentleman jack - not so much
  • jack daniel black - whatever
  • jack single barrel - mah
  • johnny walker anything - takes me right back to the first few on this list. something to do with motor oil comes to mind.
  • basil hayden's - i can't speak ill of this. for some obvious reasons that are only obvious to some.
  • black velvet - ugh. please don't. but if you even try to put diet sprite in this for me, i'll chop your hand off.
  • macallen's - this can be a pretty easy one to take. "can be."
  • glenlivet/glenfiddich - "scotch". you really have to like scotch.

if anyone disagrees with my findings, you're wrong. ok bye.
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10 comments:

  1. RussSeptember 9, 2008 at 7:02 AM

    We have to have a talk, young lady.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LindySeptember 11, 2008 at 8:06 AM

    I've always been grossed out by brown too. (i barely tolerate my mexican)

    GAHHHH but the other night a friend ordered me a double shot of vodka ( i don't know what, I'm sorry) and it smelled and tasted EXACTLY what I think rubbing alcohol would smell and taste like.

    So, can you identify it for me? I know it's clear but I'm thinking you might know clear too :P I'd like to never have to drink it again. Pretty please and thank you.

    - hor

    ReplyDelete
  3. jeremySeptember 11, 2008 at 3:42 PM

    from the title, i thought the post was going to be about anal. you sure fooled me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. danielleSeptember 13, 2008 at 7:51 AM

    hey lindyhor. i bet it was whatever that one vodka is that the grocery store sells. you know, it's the one on the bottom shelf with a plastic bottle and red label.

    and jer-man, it was about anal. hello.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LindySeptember 15, 2008 at 9:38 AM

    Popov or something like that? I'm betting so, ack, gallllk !

    Now where's the patron??? Clear - yum.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LindySeptember 18, 2008 at 10:16 AM

    HOR ! Go out this weekend and come home and drunk-post so we can hear from you. :P

    ReplyDelete
  7. danielleSeptember 18, 2008 at 1:28 PM

    hey, bring it down. i'll go out.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just JackieOctober 17, 2008 at 7:41 AM

    try old grand dad and lmk what you think

    ReplyDelete
  9. littlebirdlostNovember 6, 2008 at 8:49 AM

    Can Brown update for you? Just askin....kisses xoxo Toren

    ReplyDelete
  10. Rick ThomsonSeptember 1, 2010 at 11:04 PM

    If you are going to drink brown, then stick with Single Malts for whisky, Talisker is my prefered sort. Appleton's is not too shabby in the rum direction of brown, and of course Calvados is very nice.

    ReplyDelete

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