i'm so ugly, that's okay cuz so are u

hey my phone was ringing 30 minutes ago. i was laying on the sofa and it was sitting next to me, so answering it was not going to be a problem. i assessed the caller ID and it said 'out of area' so i figured, hey, it's the new year and this is my phone so what the hell. i can definitely answer this shit and deal with whatever is on the other side. for someone who gets several hundred calls from her mother and sister every day, you can imagine my surprise when it ended up being a recorded voice telling me this: "this is a collect call from 'no one u know', who is AN INMATE AT THE COUNTY JAIL". then it was like friends season 7 in my great room - rachel picks up the phone and hears monica talking a little dirty to someone who ends up being chandler so she freaks out and hangs up as fast as only her little fingers can since this was the first she was hearing of the secret relations.

anywho...that's pretty much what i did. immediately following, i leaped up off the comfy cocoon and the all-day mild chest pains finally kicked into mad full gear. i called my mother from my cell phone (since the fear of picking up my home phone was still a little too great) to tell her that i was getting a new number first thing in the morning. she said the same thing just happened to them for the second time and that i didn't need to get a new number because our phone company had contracted some telesales out to prison inmates and that they're getting $.12 an hour for this service. i know this is true because martha was telling us just that last week on her show. while i appreciate that they're having the inmates work during their prison sentences, i still believe that the ass-face over at the wherever company who can be credited with this terrific new idea should be fired first thing tomorrow.

here's where i'm gonna turn it over to you guys. how many of my fine readers would seriously/literally/actually accept the collect call from an inmate at 10pm at night, maybe even on new year's eve (which is when my mom FIRST got the FIRST call) ? be honest. if you're gonna be fluffy and blow things up my out hole, that's fine, just answer the question, too.