boom, boom, boom - let's go back to my room

first off, i had to cut my lawn for the first time on sunday morning. for those who aren't sure why that would be newsworthy, i had a lawn guy, 'kenny', who was hired to cut my lawn twice a month. he cut the lawn a total of 4 times since early april and then just stopped without warning a month and a half ago. some little birdies told me that he had developed a thing for me, so i believe his strategy then became 'i'll only cut the grass over there when she calls me after i haven't showed up for a month and then i'll also take that opportunity to ask her out on strange dates'. well obviously, he's history. i'd also like to report him to the better business bureau but i'm slightly worried he'll start cooking rabbits atop my stove. anywho, cutting the grass wasn't THAT bad but i really hate cutting the grass so it just reaffirmed my predilection for a grass cutting service. i borrowed my sister's lawnmower and set out to reveal no less than 150,000 different types of grasshopper species. i know that grasshoppers are harmless and they don't bother me, but they're still bugs and i don't like bugs so i found them to be gross and annoying. i was after all cutting grass and that's where they live so what could i do (but run them over). before you go berating me on all the joys of grass cutting (like my neighbor), don't. some people like to cut their grass. i'm just not one of them. when the boy moves into my home for permanent residence, he will be assigned all lawn mowing tasks (if you know what i'm saying). done and done.

the second thing about the extra long holiday weekend that i feel the need to explain, i drank a lot. and when i say a lot, i mean A LOT. it was that new ruby red absolut. i couldn't resist it. coincidentally, neither could the raspberry lemonade i whipped up. i spent much time lounging on my neighbors patios and they probably really enjoyed that - i certainly did. and something else that's fun about my neighbors, they like to make their own fireworks. i live in a neighborhood that's surrounded by a somewhat rural area. there are locals and they make their own fireworks and probably moonshine as well. long story short, i didn't have to move an inch to see fireworks this past weekend. i looked anywhere and saw pretty decent starbursts everywhere and i'm pretty sure it was the man who's been constructing the lazy river in his backyard for the last year. hey let me know if you want visitors at the hospital, lazy river guy. i'm sure you blew off a finger or a toe or your face.