basement racquetball tennis pong

it might have been interesting to tell you about the angel hair pilot this evening, but i think i'll save him for another night. tonight, i will tell you about basement racquetball tennis pong. it's sweeping the nation. and i mean that literally. well no. i mean, it's only really happening in my basement as far as i know.

here's what happens in brtp: you get a tennis racquet and a little rubber racquetball ball and an unfinished basement. and bourbon. and perhaps loud music from the kitchen at the top of the stairs. then, you hit the ball against the wall with a tennis racquet but with that initial racquetball bounce so that the ball doesn't go like 100 yards and end up getting lodged underneath like, the metal wolf spider basement shelving. those crazy guys like to hide under that thing. i don't actually know that this is true though because in three years, i've only seen one wolf spider by this metal shelving. anything's possible. but back to the game, you want the ball to bounce before it hits the wall and then you just keep the volley going while you think and drink and jam to your favorite 70s, 70s, and 70s tunes.

what else.. as far as rules go, the only rule is that you just constantly make up rules to account for whatever just happened in the "game". like, if you're lucky and the ball bounces back to you after arching through/over the red metal beam, you totally win. conversely, if the ball hits the red beam on the way back and goes back into the wall instead of coming back to you, that's it. you lose. if you let the ball bounce like 3 times before hitting it back to the wall, nice. 5 points. if you switch to being a lefty (or righty if you're a lefty) you get 2 extra points. and really, so on and so forth. like i said, you just keep making up rules so that if you're ever playing with someone else, which is never, no one can win. similarly, if you're playing against yourself, you will probably win. i've actually lost to myself before so it's really hard to say what you can expect here.

so, brtp. my gift to you. stay inside this 2008 summer and enjoy your cold, cold basement.