this is what it looks like from the stairs around 7am.

what did you do to deserve this

i'm blogging for the second time in the same month. this is preposterous. you're very lucky. maybe it's the 8% of great lakes beer talking. we'll never know.

i spent the weekend in real estate class and it ruled my kingdom. how can someone love real estate so much? today we talked about the different aspects of real estate finance and the teacher (who was the exact replica of the man who played rachel's dad on friends) nicknamed all 45 people in the room. i was danelly. solon, irish, old navy, harley, parma, richie, murray hill, key, avon girls, and phil were also present. it was a good crowd for a 9-hour discussion on all the types of mortgages one can obtain and just how intimate you, the licensee, need to get with a buyer's credit score. i just got chills.

sarah and i caught 'elizabethtown' with steph. great movie and i'm not a big movie fan but it was long and slow paced, but deep. perfect. also, orlando bloom has perfect lips. if they were a cottage, i'd rent them for the summer. but before i saw this movie, i participated in a standoff at the gate (my hood for those who are not paying attention). the spiders in my basement are larger than any i've ever seen in a residential setting. big don said to stock up on the wasp spray until my dad can come exterminate them. the size of my entire thumb and deep black. you can hear them walking from across the length of my 52-foot foundation. steph said she would come murder them. i'm gonna hold you to that doc. and, i'm willing to pay you a weekly fee since these monsters debilitate me when we're feuding over the same room.

i had that date with match guy 1. he was very cute and had just about every component i look for. he emailed me today to see if i wanted to dine again soon, but maybe cook in his kitchen this time... not too shabby for rachel. hey you know what? i always, always want to cook in your kitchen. i also got 3 more leads on new meat. they each seem really fun so far so i'll be setting up some calls this week. i'm meeting match guy 2 tomorrow so wish me luck. then, i'm going to shard's new house on tuesday to watch gilmore girls. i hear she has a giant clock. hmmm.

love bites is on xm. i'll do my 2 thanksgiving cents right now; i'm thankful for def leppard. ooh. 'the world don't need another lover' by giant steps just kicked on. get yourself some xm. this is fantastical.

i gotta do this

so i'm gonna break the cycle and post because i've been saving up some good shit for this mofo. i decided to just post what i feel like posting (within reason) because it's no fun when i censor myself in hopes of shielding some of the audience that i don't want to know what i'm REALLY thinking.

i've been doing online dating. it sucks. luckily i only signed up for a month because i wasn't too sure about it. i was right. you gotta be that person who loves to be online all the time, which clearly i'm not. i would be posting on this blog if i was. anyway, i've been talking to one of the guys pretty regularly and we're gonna meet this week. i've also been chatting with a few others and they're just not panning out so i now have to politely cut them off and that annoys the shit out of me. if i end up meeting 1 great guy, it will have all been worth it. but ugh. this is preposterous.

OH, you wanna know what else is pre-pos? my fucking sofa. that hell of shit needs to get its damn ass to my house already. i told sarah today that i haven't been able to lay around since august. how is that even possible? goddammityoueffingsofa. get to the gate!

i'm taking real estate classes. this one lady minister was there last week. here's why she's decided to get her real estate license; it's a calling from god that she help grow the lord's kingdom through real estate sales. um. who has time for this?

i never did the month of drunk like i was planning. i'm older. i'm tired. i hate my life. it's impossible to settle in and enjoy a good fall microbrew when you're so pissed with the state of affairs.

i LOVE baseball in the fall. let's go angels. and a-rod. i love a-rod.

john sent me a link today. it's a link that really spoke to me. please take some time to read it. but don't come post crazy comments about your crazy views here. i have my views. you have yours. let's just keep them to ourselves. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sam-harris/there-is-no-god-and-you-_b_8459.html

what else. i miss college AND high school for once. the gilmore girls just had a kids dance recital and they were doing like, all of the showchoir songs we did in high school. it was very depressing because i cannot remember any of our dances. how much does life suck.

crazy frog prince ottoman

rejoice!

this is one of the happiest nights of my entire life right now. the power is out for my sector of the gate and so i'm sitting in my kitchen with creamy caramel scented candles burning while i listen to the mp3's on my laptop AND IT'S FALL!! AND I'M WATCHING THE MOON RISE FROM HERE!! and then i realized i could also compose blogs in this rare ethereal state i'm in. plus, obviously i'm drinking all the beer the fridge has to offer so i'm on a big puffy cloud. i have the biggest smile on my face but i'm not even sure if that's a true statement because i can't even see my face so what the eff ever. i love you!! i love me!! this is fantastic. wish you were here. xoxoxo

clearly the power just kicked back on. :(

just don't show the naked pictures

ok, dungs. i'ma do this because i just realized that it's the start of the weekend and i just hung light fixtures/curtains with my parents and then swiffered my kitchen floor...and liked it. i'm doomed.

7 Things I Plan to do Before I Die:
1.get married
2.sell real estate
3.open a wine bar
4.have a pumpkin patch
5.be perfect
6.be happy
7.go to my sons' football games on friday nights in the fall

7 Things I Can Do:
1.play almost-scratch golf
2.cook
3.bake
4.decorate
5.sing
6.melt icy people
7.britney's 'oops i did it again' dance

7 Things I Cannot Do:
1.speak french
2.see/smell/eat raisins
3.show cleavage
4.play guitar
5.married guys
6.stay mad at my sister
7.stop worrying

7 Things That Attract me to the Opposite (or same) Sex:
1.nice toes
2.handsome fingers
3.great teeth
4.a cute, little butt
5.glasses
6.confidence
7.intelligence/genius

7 Things That I Say Most Often:
1.what's up hor
2.shut it
3.i hate you
4.awesome
5.i'm gonna need you to...
6.yeah, oh yeah
7.i'll kill you

7 Celebrity Crushes:
1.bill clinton
2.ryan reynolds
3.jerry o'connell
4.dane cook
5.josh duhamel (no one can be this hot. it's just not right)
6.jesse bradford
7.the blond yale kid on gilmore girls

7 People I Want To Do This:
1.guy #1 i can't have
2.guy #2 i can't have
3.guy #3 i can't have
4.guy #4 i can't have
5.madonna
6.steph
7.hillary

i want to be the girl with the most cake

you guys! i'm so sorry i've been away for so long but moving into your first house can be a total bitch, but also pretty effing awesome. i'm sitting in my hearth room sipping coffee, listening to fred 44 and the construction on s/l 96 while donny drives back and forth in his blue truck. i have the slider open and seriously, there's just way too much back sun when your house faces west. i can't even tell you. i do have the greatest next door neighbor in the entire world. his name is bryan and he unloaded my u-haul truck with his buddy when we pulled up. it took them 20 minutes to unload the stuff it took us almost 3 hours to load. so now i'm waiting for the water meter guy and 2 lawn specialists to come tell me how much money i can give them so i figured i would stop in and drop off a little blog. here are a few of the things i've been doing with myself since i moved in last friday.

• packing up thousands of boxes and moving them
• watching my family painfully load my furniture onto the u-haul
• watching bryan and ed, poetry in motion on a friday night at 10:30pm
• running around like a crazy hor for groceries for bella's christening
• rushing to the airport to pick up the california relatives, which my parents could've TOTALLY done without me and my car right in the middle of my life change
• arranging cheese and crackers
• cutting up celery and rinsing carrots
• reconfirming that church is a total load of crap and a great excuse for people to act like a-holes so they can go to church on sunday and feel better about how they didn't act right all week
• watching my extended family run rampant through my sister's house, eating all her food
• hanging with sarah, john, diane, and sharda in my kitchen on sunday night, watching the xm radio display and fist pumping a lot. you guys are really great. thanx for breaking up the crazy on opening night.
• watching encore's big 80s movie weekend at 1am in my new house.
• watching planes from my 6 big windows with all the lights off at 2am
• using every last shred of my sanity to spend all of labor day shopping with my aunt, her husband, my parents, and my cousins. i did get 4 white distressed chairs and a headboard though, but i lost it on my mom at chipotle. it was entirely jerry's doing. he pushed the very last button i had.
• babysitting bella for 12 hours on wednesday and pretty much deciding that i might not have kids. don't get me wrong, she rules. i'm guess i'm just not ready for them.
• strategizing about how i might need to move to chicago to get away from my family
• missing the dog and trees
• spending the day at some very interesting, educational places on tuesday and thursday
• dreading 2006 because i know i'm going to shake it all up. i won't be able to help myself.

so there you have it. a brief, somewhat vague summary of my week off, which i will definitely be needing a week off to rest from. it was the most amazing, worst week off i've ever had.