i am the registrant

it was the 7th grade. i had a very cute little man. for the sake of blogricy, we'll call him 'maury'. we had been going together for 1 entire month and for a multitude of reasons, our little relationship was way hotter than my 3-month marriage to 'bad-am' in the 6th grade, but not nearly as hot as the 'feff' sessions later that year. and don't you worry, i'll get to those.

so maury and i were really cute together. we were both preppy and always held hands between classes while obviously wearing brown penny loafers. we weren't making out a whole lot though because we weren't exhibitionists and wanted some damn privacy. i believe we were halfway through our third week together when we decided that we needed to start the 'frenching'. so, my best friend 'brary' arranged it with his best friend 'lick'. obviously. there's no way either of us were going to brooch the subject with the other since we were only in effect 'dating'. brary informs me that maury does in fact want to 'french' me. lick told her that maury was in and the deal was done. the lip-lock was set for lunchtime that day. whoa!! if you're danielle, you get all anxious-excited and start rooting through your locker and tiny liz claiborne purse for flavored lip gloss. good news, cherry cola in the house. boy was maury in for a treat. (as was danielle. that stuff tasted so effing amazing.) i should probably mention that this was not danielle's first french. she had already been doing that for like 2 months prior to maury. there was 'shmave' and 'hatt' and obviously they're not worth elaborating on. ok, so i'm getting all anxious at lunch and then i finally see lick stand up and start hauling maury over to mine and brary's table. they stop by and see if anyone wants to maybe 'stagger' a few visits out to the water fountain. and by few, i mean 4. brary and lick had to come out there too since it was the 7th grade and someone had to witness the magic. otherwise, no one would believe it. what?? also, the trips had to be staggered because 7th graders aren't allowed to travel in pairs since they could potentially be making-out somewhere. no worries there. anyhow, he goes out first and like 1 minute later, i follow. brary and lick show up soon after. SO THERE WE ARE. just the 4 of us. hangin' by the old fountain. we get the signal that the coast is clear, and we go at it. i'm thinkin’, not too shabby maury. not too shabby. then after about 11 seconds, i realize that the boy i'm kissing tastes like grape juice and ketchup and there's also a giant hint of cherry cola lip gloss too. wow. overload. the taste of maury's lunch is kinda gross, but hey, we're frenching so i pretty much ignore it. i think the interlude went on for another 30 seconds or so. the length of the kiss mattered big time in that place. 41 seconds was respectable and brary and lick definitely watched us like tiny little voyeurs but i guess that was fine. it was a very small public display and i couldn't sustain too much more since grape juice and ketchup are 2 things i have still never actually consumed on purpose. just the time maury and i made out, and that was indirect. i never imagined i would remember the maury taste. it hit me today when i caught a whiff of someone's grape juice at lunch. the memories scent conjures up are uncanny.

oh maury. i have no idea where you are today. and, i totally don't effing care.