gin headache

yes. it is back. i am here to tell you a tale; a tale of creative crafts for the poor. it's the good time you never knew you could have with mere pennies a day.

did you know that you can generate hours of entertainment in your family room and all with just a karaoke microphone securely affixed to your television? you can have a figurative brimming trunk of grandiose riches with just one small, simplistic piece of antiquated electronic technology - a microphone (cordless or otherwise).

it begins in my family room with me, microphone, and tv. oh yes, and drunk is present. but you knew that. so here's the deal folks, obtain any microphone and then plug it into one of your tv's ports. then, just talk. about everything. since you most likely have people and animals living in your homes, this will be 100x more interesting than it is for me. i'm basically just glorifying my discussions with myself and broadcasting them throughout the house via my tv speakers. and don't get me wrong when i say it will be 100x times more interesting for you. i just mean that it entertained me 100x more than whatever my pre-microphone state was and that you may actually find that it's 200x more interesting given the attendance at your places of residence. that's what i'm trying to say. discard 100x. make it 200x.

if only there were video... there is not. in addition to the karaoke revivals, these are some examples of commonly uttered phrases:

• thankyouverymuch
• i'm here all week
• you're beautiful
• I AM YOUR FATHER
• fix me a turkey pot pie...
• ...bitch
• i would just like to say... (very many things regarding absolutely nothing)
• hi, is jesus there?
• hi, this is jesus

amazing no? you'll be surprised and amused with what comes out of your mouth when there's a microphone in your hands. this was all retrieved in the thick of my morning gin headache. i had a tanqueray gin martini the other night and i awoke the next morning to headache ala gin (and several fond memories of karaoke mic). now the headache may be due to the lack of gin in my life until this year of 29. but then i think you could probably attribute it to the gin martini, the beer chaser, the second beer chaser chaser, and then the two bailey coffees nightcap that followed shortly thereafter. i don't know. jury's still out.