vodka has never done me wrong

but i sure have been doing him wrong.

i was at work today after having been Pah-TOe for so long and couldn't manage to get my head back into the ever-so-interesting game. i was walking down the long hall with my secret lover doing what we do best; long, slow, coffee walks. oh, and publicly discussing alcohol. i mentioned that i had seriously considered introducing a semi-concealed flask to my workspace in 2007 and he mentioned that he thought i might seriously have a problem. and then we both shook our heads and agreed that it was his wife who actually had the problem because most people in the area tend to take their cues from her. so anyway, i described my classic dirty recipe and right away he reacted to it. i almost hate to admit this, but it contained far too much vermouth - for anyone's taste. i never quite understood the point of vermouth... but... wait for it.

in the summer months, i enjoy the vodka straight, over ice. it's light and it's refreshing. but seeing as it's winter, i flopped back over to the classic dirty. you know, to keep me warm. my recipe has traditionally been 2 parts vodka, 1 part vermouth, splash of olive brine, shake shake shake. now due to chop's reaction from the morning coffee run and my lack of interest in corporate _____, i spent *a little* time during the day researching classic martini recipes with our old friend. turns out, you only really want a splash of vermouth. say what? yes, willis. a splash. so steph's complaint about my strong martinis a couple weeks back was, well, weak. AND valid. i'll give you that one. my drinks usually straddle the strong side of the line because i kind of do have a problem and i don't fully comprehend when you prefer somethings in your tall, cool russians (thx, OKS). give me time. i'll learn.

a splash of vermouth. good. to. know. i raced home at the stroke of 4:45 because this corporate lady was operating under the assumption that i would be assisting her with corporate _____ around 5pm. uh yeah. no, mrs. lady. i won't. i then point a'd it for white-lightning. he greeted me with the leather smell that only he can do and we were on our way. it was glorius. after 50 minutes of heated seats, i was finally in my kitchen shaking up a masterpiece. you guessed right if you guessed splash of vermouth. it was THE MOST mouth-watering classic dirty i've ever had in my sad, meaningless existence.

i will furnish you with the new recipe if you're in the mood for something stiff and dirty. get your damn minds out of the gutter.

no wait. keep doing it. my teeth hurt.