hi, is jesus there?

that title looks familiar because it is. i was just telling you a karaoke microphone story where jesus may or may not have been summons-d. i guess i was apparently calling him and he answered because he rang my doorbell at 9am this fine, rainy, cold, saturday morning. wtf jesus. don't effing do that. cold rainy saturday morning = sleep in. oh, but it wasn't a total loss. he left presents for me. and if he left them for me, clearly they will find a way to you.

here's what he left in my door. if you just glance at it right when you get up - prior to coffee, i think the woman and child are petting a monkey. is that normal and right behavior for 'woman and child'? i know, i know. they're human too and sometimes they need to pet a monkey.

if you inspect it more closely after coffee, i'm fairly certain it's a bear. which leads me to my next question; what in the world makes these two morons think they should be petting a bear? uh hey, jesus - could you tell your morons that bears can chomp their heads off and that they should stick to normal petting? you know, normal petting. like monkeys. petting monkeys is normal and fine.