i have missed you guys. work has been pretty ridiculous. i haven't had a drop of alcohol since monday. do you read me?? monday was the last time i had the spirits. it's a new fucking record and not in a good way. (ooh, sorry for the french.) but yeah, work's been having major badness and i've been dedicated to making the badness go away. yeah. hi? the corporate asshats are highly misinformed. i couldn't help george michael find his man junk in a public restroom if i wanted. no offense, BGK. oh yes i did. eat it. and bret michaels is also still all up ons. i told her you said hi. then she spit her dip at me. i don't know. maybe she hates you. i don't know.
so here's a tidbit and a status note. i'll be back this weekend and... below is the label from the fedex box that ONE of my married boyfriends sent to me. i have a bunch of them and they are fantastic - you know who you are. they buy and send me stuff in the form of cabs, semi-sweet chocolates, and starbucks. one of them bribed me with "godiva candies" if i said nice things about him on his performance review. um, duh. i said nice things about him. godiva "candies" are heavenly. i don't care who you are, you will disclose national secrets to get them in your mouth. we're still talking about chocolates right?
so it says that they should not deliver to an intoxicated person. why did they let me have this?
here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons...... dammit, i want that little train.
ReplyDeleteOk hor you have to show me how you got it onto your phone. There are so many things I could do with this. So many, many things. when are you having a party so I can come over and get drunk.
ReplyDeleteSince Monday? You know, if you keep this up your liver might come back to life, and it's gonna be pissed that you woke it up from it's coma.
ReplyDeleteSo you know, good luck with that.
"if you keep this up your liver might come back to life, and it's gonna be pissed that you woke it up from it's coma"
ReplyDeletepriceless Lindystar! That is definitely the quote of the week.
@Sarah: What kind of phone do you have? Some can use any mp3 as a ringtone. Verizon phones have a service you can buy them. If you have a cable to hook it to your computer, there is a ton of cheap software that will convert music files to ring-tones as well.
Sgt, I have Verizon Wireless. Hor asked me if it came with a cable, but I'll be honest-I've had the phone for 2 months and haven't looked in the box. I just took it out and started using. Tonight I will be checking for a cable. If I have questions, you will be hearing from my lawyer. Not really my lawyer since I don't have one, I've just always wanted to say "You'll be hearing from my lawyer." I really meant you'll be hearing from me.
ReplyDeleteMake up for the dry spell tonight. We missed you too.
ReplyDeleteHow many married boyfriends do you have, jesus. What a hor.
ReplyDeletei always used to think "making a go, making it grow" had something to do with doodie.
ReplyDeleteSo...did you have to blow into a device to check your blood alcohol level before the FedEx guy would let you have the said package? And by device I mean...well...you know.
ReplyDeleteoh tor. i feel ya.
ReplyDeletehor, usb cable.
ls, oooh. what do you think happens when your liver gets pissed at you?
john, wtf. you know who i am.
jerry, i think they are talking about doodie.
kp, uh yes. i was blowing things on my front porch. like i always do.
Yeah john wtf. I mean just look at her. What a homewrecking tramp.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you had to be an ATF member to work for FedEx.
ReplyDeleteBesides, you haven't met my FedEx guy.. Funny. There's not a line that says "May not be delivered if you ARE intoxicated..."
silver spoons!
ReplyDeletecrap. you had to bring that up